30 July, 2016

a bit of a rant

Just plain pissed off...I'm so very very sick of all the hype of the TERROR of orphanages!  It started off innocently enough (my pissy state, that is).  Clicking innocently on a link which let me to explore more links until I just couldn't hold it in.  Instead of curling into a fetal position and crying in this nice coffee shop in the city of Phnom Penh, I will instead blast my frustration to my blog where maybe, just maybe I'll feel better and be able to enjoy my $3.00 latte in peace.

According to the organization Child Safe, "Out of an estimated 8 million children living in institutions across the world, more than 80% are not orphans."


and?

and what?


So what that tells me personally is that 3 of our kids (siblings) should be back living with their paternal uncle and his wife when their widowed mother was forced to leave her children with them to go to work to support her fatherless children.  We should not have accepted those young children because although their uncle's wife physically abused the oldest (a 6 yr old) to the point he feared for his life, she was his biological aunt nonetheless and the children were in a 'family unit'.


By the way, that's their mother, a woman who loves her kids, a young widow who wants her kids to NOT be abused.  She is a mother who visits regularly and is so very thankful we are keeping her children safe because (at this time) she cannot.




But wait, that's only three lives who are better off in a so called "institution".  Surely they are the only ones?  Right?  Wait, actually there are more more of our healthy happy kids we could throw to their biological wolves.  I mean they are healthy and happy now, but if they would not have come to Wat Opot Children's Community 2 would be dead from AIDS complications since their non-poverty stricken biological families choose not to put them on medication, until finally sending them to us - sending them to us with only the clothes hanging on their skeletal backs.  

Or those who (5 more) who were not given their medication regularly by their parents or grandparents, thus making their small bodies resilient to the first line of ARV medication.  Those kids had to get on the 2nd line of ARV medication.  FYI - 3rd line medication is scarcely available in Cambodia...


For all of those  I guess if they were dead then they could not possible end up truly messed up "For all children, living in long term stays in institutions have lasting negative impacts," according to thinkchildsafe.org   

Hmmm...nothing seems more lasting than death, (shrug shoulders) maybe I'm wrong, though, since I've never died.


Let's see, that's 10 kids or so who would not be growing up educated, un-abused and happy in a non-traditional home.  Wait I am sure I can come up with more. 


"Evidence shows that (particularly those under 3) are at risk of permanent developmental damage by not being cared for in a family setting" so not counting the ones listed above, whose  development would be permanently damaged if they were dead, there are 16 kids that have been at Wat Opot since they were less than 3 years old or just a bit older.  

 Of those kids, 4 are in Preschool, 5 are in Primary School, 3 will enter high school this fall and 4 are currently in high school.  Out of the 16 kids all get an education, participate in sports, jewelry making, crafts, have chores, help out in the kitchen and cafe and play and laugh.  Wonder when the permanent damage kicks in? 

Our Youth in Transition program supports (and has supported) over 25 kids who are functioning quite well, getting (or graduated from) higher education or trade school.  Some have married and now have kids of their own.

Guess it kicks in later in life...although if "Children who are institutionalized find it difficult to function in society when they leave the orphanage" is true, then I am really getting fucking confused. (sorry for the profanity, mom!)  But what am I missing here?

"We got thousands of dollars...but don't know where the money went." - former residential staff care member. Oh please, Child Safe, but that's a lack of ethics PEOPLE problem, not slotted solely to Orphanages, "Quite frankly, as long as the accountants had told me that they thought this was an appropriate structure, I felt comfortable with it." Jeffrey Skilling - Enron.

Ah, it's working, I'm feeling better!  Frustrations thrown to the universal internet realm.  Or the fact that I'm in Phnom Penh and looking at all the cute photos of the children in my care, has made me feel better...yeah, that's probably it.

Or maybe it's these photos I came across while perusing my huge repertoire of photos...





Oh shit, wait, is that what "they" mean by permanent developmental damage???

5 comments:

Charlsie Russell said...

Mindy, I went back into thinkchildsafe.org to see where they got their funding http://www.thinkchildsafe.org/thinkbeforedonating/support-the-issue/ and if you want my opinion--what puts yours and all other organizations like yours on that group's radar (and more importantly those who financially support thinkchildsafe) is that you are not under their control. That is intorlerable to the liberal left--or the new mainstream...or even the original "centrists". Your funds come primarily from wealthy private donars who are very aware of what y'all are doing there, right? Then there are people like me who modestly support people like you working there. Do you have a big campaign of trying to raise money from non-affiliated people? I guess what I'm asking is can thinkchildsafe hurt you as things stand at present?
Love ya, Lucy

Melinda said...

Hi Lucy, we get our funds from people like you, modest donations (some of which come a steady $20 a month) and have so for years. There are a few who are able to give large sums once a year or so. We don't need nor want money from a large organization or someone who wants to tell us how to spend the donated money. We have never had to openly fund-raise.

I don't think they can really hurt us as our donations come from those who have been here or know people who have been here, but in the future it may stop people from even looking long enough to realize we are good.

Wayne Matthysse said...

You probably should have gone with the gin and tonic... however you have said things much better, well at least more explicitly, than I can. Get some sleep and we will see you tomorrow.

Melinda said...

Thanks Wayne, with the gin and tonic, I might not have been so nice, ha ha. See ya tomorrow.

Wayne Matthysse said...

I might add that while WE are not that much affected by the anti-orphanage crusade, other places are. We are fortunate to have some recognition from the book and a large base of people who know us. Other local programs run by dedicated, hard working, and caring indigenous staff however, are not that fortunate. The best way of telling who you should support is by getting to know the people personally... or sending a representative out to investigate. ALWAYS, always ask to see the financial records. If none are kept or for any reason can not be produced on the spot, chances are you are being ripped off.