26 August, 2008

More airplane notes:

We landed and like robots kept our seat belts on until the plane was secure at the gate. Then there was a surprise in store for the paying patrons sitting so anxiously and obediently. The sickly sweet voice of the flight attendant came over the intercom asking “us”, the people who paid to be on this flight if we would do “them”, the paid employees, a favor and close the shades and open the air vents around your seating area.

As my mouth dropped open, I thought…would an expensive restaurant ask you to please bring your dishes to the kitchen as a “favor to their waitstaff?" Would a pet boarding facility ask you to remove your dog’s poo from her kennel as a “favor to their paid workers?" Why is it okay to ask paying patrons to give when the airlines continue to cut back. Give me 20 bucks off my next ticket and I’ll be more than happy to make sure my shades are drawn and my vents are open as I gather my things to depart. I’ll even make sure I wipe the sink basin as a courtesy to the other passengers. I will gladly help, but please in return, may I ask a few things in return…Just a few things from one paying customer to a paid employee.

1. Don’t come to work wearing the smoke smelling uniform you partied in last night after your last flight.

2. Use 20 oz. less perfume…or better yet NONE! before you get on the plane.

3. If I have my travel coffee cup in front of me, ear phones in and my book covering my tray table – DO NOT nudge me and ask if I would like anything to drink or a bag containing a maximum of 6 peanuts. I saw you! We made eye contact…if I wanted something I would have smiled sweetly and asked you!

4. and do not under any circumstances ask me if I would like to purchase a duty free item or remind me that the in-flight-catalog can be found in the seat pocket in front of me.

I think that’s all for now…until my next flight…

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