20 May, 2006

Snorers

Okay, I am a relatively easy going person. I have put up with a lot of stuff in my adult years. I don't count my youth, since as children, most shit just happens and you deal with it because it's mostly beyond your control. Well, I'm now an adult (as much an I do not like to admit it) and I have learned to control pretty much everything in my life and that's the way I like it. Orderly.

Well, I am now living with a man who snores. This man is my roommate and although he's a relatively nice guy and I although he has many quirks, I can usually deal with them by retiring to my "sacred alone place" my bedroom haven. Well I now realize my bedroom is not safe from the inhuman sounds that escape his mouth at night.

After I finished counseling my stressed other male roommate on the trials and tribulations of having a relationship (like I'm the one to talk to???, I refrained from saying "dump her and move on".) Anyway I finished my unpaid counseling session at 2 AM an finally snuggled down in my soft bed. All of a sudden I heard it, a sound coming from the depths of hell. I had heard Ben snore before, but nothing like this. As I listened to these sounds I chuckled to myself as I imagined a lizard-like demon shooting out of his mouth and screeching at the top of his lungs and then retreating back into his mouth. That thought (with the images changing shape) lasted about 15 minutes and then I realized that I needed to get some sleep.

I tried to ignore it but, any of you, who are so cursed with sleeping with someone who gasps for air with a horrid sound, knows you can't ignore it. It would be different if he was in my bed, then I could just gently roll him over, nudge him, smack him with the back of my hand, kick him off the bed, etc. but this was different. I didn't know what to do. I got the idea to tape record him with my camera. ha ha, yeah that would be funny. Well, I did that and by 3:30 AM the humor in that wore off. I finally opened his door and yelled his name. That did nothing and being in his room in the dark kind of freaked me out, especially since that demon was so close! "what if instead of screeching it shot across the room at me?"

I called his name louder and nothing happened except the continuous snoring. I moved closer to his bed and kicked the footboard. nothing... I kicked it and called his name too. nothing... I grasped it with both hands and shook as hard as I could and yelled his name. I finally heard silence and I said "Will you please roll over or something since I can't sleep and I really don't want to kill you in your sleep. I though I would get a chuckle out of him, but really there was no sound. I stood there in the darkness for about 5 seconds and then got really spooked and ran out of his room shutting the door behind me and I jumped into my bed and laid there panting. I felt like a little kid waiting for the boogie man to get me. I realized that the demon wasn't coming after me and that I better try to sleep before it rears it's ugly head out of his mouth again. By then it was almost 4 AM and I finally fell asleep. I was not very happy when my alarm went off at 7.

2 comments:

Pam said...

What a crack up Mindy! I am blessed with a man who does not snore. Here we have nasel sprays and nose tape that help stop the snorer stop. I would think Spain would carry types of these things too. I can see you now sneeking in his room and quickly putting tape on his nose and then running back to yur room. LOL

Anonymous said...

You need to update! The boys and I check nearly everyday! Jackson just graduated from kindergarten! Love, Rachel